Hi, friends of The Far Insights,
The past week has been a total 180 for me. I’m in this unfamiliar, transitionary phase. And after almost 3 years of not driving long road trips, I did it, over the weekend. Back to where part of me is from, Sarikei.
The one-way 5-6-ish hour-drive, taught me many things on confidence, cowardice, and doubts—the things we tackle on a daily basis.
You need confidence to get ahead of time
If there’s one vehicle that reigns the Pan Borneo highway (upon my 5 years of driving experience from the ends of Telok Melano-Miri), it is the pickup truck, the 4-wheel-drives that can be crowned king of the road.
Not the massive cement lorries, gas tanker trucks, or car carrier trailers.
But the 4WDs.
One common trait these 4WDs have in common? Confidence.
Why? They don’t wait until they reach a straight clear road to overtake a slow vehicle in front of them.
Uphill corners, they’ll confidently accelerate ahead. Hairpin turns, they blaze off.
The 4WDs are so confident they’ll be able to push through unseen obstacles and blindspots ahead that even if there’s a car coming from the opposite direction, that car has no choice but to slow down to give way to the 4WD.
Caution: this road behavior is very dangerous thus I’m not advocating you to attempt at emulating the behavior. But rather, let's understand and learn where does this level of self-confidence come from: within.
A clear, straight road is utopia
In life, rarely you’d encounter a straight road that’s clear ahead. You’ll most likely share the same path with an overloaded lorry, a mad pickup truck, a confident hatchback, or the always slow car.
And unless your road is a 5-lane highway, the weather too can become a bummer. Heavy downpour happens anytime, and the traffic can be horrible.
For the most part, the journey is full of twisty turns and steep corners that will slow you down from arriving at your destination ahead or on time.
Waiting is painful
Besides the heavily loaded trucks which can’t go beyond 50km/h, there are vehicles behind them that just don’t feel confident enough.
They’ll second guess their ability to overcome the obstacle by simply tagging along behind the slow lorry.
Waiting (and hoping) for the lorry in front to give a signal and turn right somewhere, clearing the path ahead is painful.
Waiting for the vehicles behind the lorry to make the necessary ‘overtaking’ move is painful.
Waiting is a form of resistance.
We lose so much opportunities when delays happen
Nobody likes unwanted delays. That major diversion, low on petrol, punctured tires.. They suck.
Our energy wears off, we become sleepy and we might miss other matters we had to attend.
If you don’t do something to:
Muster that confidence you need in overtaking a bunch of slow and heavy vehicles ahead, OR;
Be prepared for the long journey by servicing your vehicle/filling in your tank till it’s full earlier, OR;
Give yourself a deadline by reaching this point/place by this rough estimation of time (because money and time is precious),
.. it will take forever for you to reach your destination.
The journey is cool… but, sometimes 👇🏻
“It’s not about the journey, it’s about the destination.”- Ralph Waldo Emereson
Everyone can nurture confidence and courage
You don’t have to be as powerful as the 4WDs to get ahead.
Courage is not armored from the exterior. It comes from within.
Heck, I’ve seen smaller vehicles like hatchbacks and sedans sprint like Schumacher when it’s time to do so and overtake the giant lorries that were slowing them down.
All you need is a little “I can do this” mindset, step on the pedal and go full speed ahead.
💬 How fast you get to your destination depends on your confidence, and your ability to be brave in tackling the incoming obstacles along the way.
Another ingredient to getting ahead: be lightweight
Now that we know pickup trucks and the hatchbacks are the Kings and Queens of the (Pan Borneo) Highway lol… Another thing that they have in common is how lightweight they are in comparison to the long trailers.
The ability to move forward fast depends on your weight.
If you have so much to bring to your destination, you can’t go full speed ahead. You’ll become like the heavy trailers.
So declutter, let go of past baggages and only carry what you’ll need to go ahead.
💬 At some point, some junction, you’ll have to say goodbye to heavy loads of cowardice and constant doubts dancing in your head, and only carry the little bravery that you can pick up.
“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.” – T.S. Eliot
Because if you dwell too much on the scary, doubtful thoughts, you may end up like the vehicle that never tries to overtake.
Translating this scenario into our daily lives 👇🏻
Not having the confidence to take risks can eat up years of unhappiness being behind the heavy loaded lorry.
Not confronting the issue with the slow vehicle in front who doesn’t know it is blocking your path in life will only make you a grumpy person.
That means you will only be free from the suffocatingly slow journey when you reach the end of the destination—a time when perhaps…
You’ll be old and wrinkly.
You have used up so much time, energy and money (of course you’ll need to add more petrol cause now the journey is delayed longer than what you’d expected)
💬 If you don’t take risks and face that huge hurdle, you can never know how far can you actually go in life.
“The road ahead is as long as you make it. Make it worth the trip.” - Bon Jovi
I know I’ve said it’s about the destination… But it is also about the journey.
Face the potholes, laugh at the gravel roads, brave through the rainy days, take in the spectacular views once in a while, and stopover at the small towns you passes by with every chance along the way.
These are the priceless memories that make reaching the destination, worth it. So remember to enjoy the journey too.
Current obsessions
Kai's Peaches album — Blue is my favorite
SKZ Asian Artist Awards Performance.
Joe Hisaishi's Ashitaka and San.
Serious things
"The situation that you're in, you know people might be able to relate because they've had similar situation. But they can never give you the right answer because they're not you and they're not in that situation. They might have been in a similar situation.. What they decided worked for them, because it worked for them doesn't necessarily it would work for you." — Jay Park on DIVE
In response to whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping….
📖 From Your Money: The Missing Manual 👉🏼 "The key to money management—and happiness—is being satisfied. It's not how much you have that makes you happy or unhappy, but how much you want."
Recently finished
🎞 Succession Ep 6 — yep I'm late but I'll catch up soon.
Of course, the next presidential candidate has to pitch to legacy media folks like the Roys! So much for democracy.
All it took was a can of coke to convince Logan "I'm the guy you're looking for" aka I'll scratch your back, you scratch mine.
Props for the "approval photo" with the Roys. And ouch at Logan’s "do you want my will or not?" (or so I'd like to think) to convince pinky Siobhan to hop in the photo.
Elsewhere
👇🏼 Your say on what else is it's okay to..
Share this friend that you know who needs to hear this!
From Pineapple Town
So many things happened over the weekend with the family back in Sarikei—the town flooded for a while haha 📸.
But if there's one realization that hits me, it's the fact that I've forgotten how to live in the present, for so so so long.
A new feeling I’m getting adjusted to, which at first felt weird and so strange.
And, as my mom said on Sunday, 💬 “when you live in the present, when your head is clear of worries on what to do next, you tend to appreciate your current situation and the people around you.” Very very true.