The Surprisingly Simple Truth To Happy Life And Self
Live your own life and stop trying to be someone you're not; Paradoxes in life; Explorers; Loud Talkers; Show your work; Focus on 5 goals
I have no idea why I got this epiphany now. Or rather, how this simple truth finally sunk in me recently. But a lot of us— we are unhappy because we are living in someone else’s preferred lifestyle.
We all live different lives
The other day, my family was talking about a cousin of mine who just got married.
So my aunt made a remark on their current whereabouts (aka #HoneymoonTime):
“It’s good they’re using more of their wedding funds for a honeymoon than a glamorous reception.”
It didn’t compute to me at first that the preferred lifestyle of most of my extended family is to spend money on travel until…
I attended this huge social event last weekend, and listened to the speech of the organizer on how much it meant for them to have the event back on after 2 years of downtime.
Seeing just how much people love attending these sorts of events, I realized how some live and breathe on social events.
So, putting back the context of this ‘huge event' to the wedding epiphany:
Some are big on splurging so they’ll get the #weddingofthecentury reception. They don’t mind forking out extra because “it’s a once-in-a-lifetime” event.
Some, just want to have an intimate wedding for family and close friends, so they’ll spend more on the extra at the initial marriage stages, and what is to come post-wedding.
Living life on your own terms
2021 is a year of many things. One of them is my introduction to the phrase “living life on your own terms.”
A term I wish I knew during my adolescent years. That would’ve added depth and expanded my perspective on life.
But essentially, we all have our own life terms based on our moral values and spiritual compass.
There are people who are happy when their lives include attending and organizing social events.
And there are people who are happy when their calendars are free from social events.
There are people who are happy when they get to see the world and live a nomadic lifestyle.
And there are people who are happy being sedentary.
There are people who enjoy and thrive being in the rush of a city.
And there are people who enjoy the quiet life in the countryside.
The common ground between all these?
There is no right or wrong way to live
For some of us, we love the lifestyle we've been brought up with because that's all we've gotten to know for the longest time. Everything else, is a foreign concept.
Whichever side of the life spectrum you're on, it's fine. But what's not fine is judging a person who lives a life different from you, disapproving and discrediting them totally as a human being because you don’t see their life as one worthy to live.
Dealing with someone who influences (or, forces) you to live their life
The way to deal is not to deal with it.
Not being bothered to raise an argument or explain in the first place, because it is something unworthy of discussion.
Seo Ye Ji in Quantum Physics demonstrates this best when she was scouted to join hands with Park Hae Soo. She declined from the beginning.
But with wasn’t enough to convince Park Hae Soo…
Wanted out from whatever scheme Park Hae Soo trying to reel her in, she replied with an analogy apt to describe I don’t want to be a part of your life. Don’t try to influence me. I am happy with where I am now:
A New York businessman went to Mexico on a vacation, and saw fishermen come back too quickly. So he gave them an advice: "If you catch more fish, buy a huge boat, open a fish cannery, then you can buy buildings in New York. So you can build a house, with a great view, and enjoy your hobby, and live a good life with family and friends."
And then a fisherman replied, "This is my life now."
Bam 🤯
Living your life → Inner peace → Happy self → Flourishing relationships
Sounds about simple and right, but it can be very hard to attain.
The problem is, some don’t know what lifestyle suits them best and makes them (internally) happy.
If you wonder, why am I unhappy?
On a deeper level, it may be because you are following, and living someone else’s life—a life they seriously enjoy, but you don’t.
To get to living your own life, you must first (1) figure the type of life game you’re playing, (2) identify the people who are in and not in the playing field, and (3) only listen —with a pinch of salt— to the people in your playing field.
The rest doesn't matter.
And if you do end up getting influenced by a lifestyle that’s not meant for you, the universe knows how to respond accordingly—pay attention.
"You’re also competing with other people’s intentions – both good and bad. So, be aware that if your desire is in direct conflict with someone else’s stronger desire, the universe will respond accordingly." — Irina Yugay, Law of Attraction
Don’t let a stranger’s “that’s not how you should live” get to your skin.
Instead of taking things personally when a person playing a different life game than you criticizes you for your lifestyle of choice, you should take it as a good sign.
It means you’re playing your game, a game they see as wrong because it’s not what they aspire or want in life.
Only be worried when someone in your playing field, who’s two steps above you nudges you “hey buddy, you’re going in the wrong direction”.
Whose life are you living?
Life is too short for you to be living in someone else’s life.
So check with yourself, am I living my own life, or am I living someone else’s?
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Serious Things
The many paradoxes of life... What caught me were the paradoxes of money and fear.
“It may be that the loud talker needs people to know they’re in charge by being the loudest voice in the room” — Loud Talkers
"To seek knowledge! To go into unknown territory, not just going, but documenting what you find and seeking to explain its significance. This is what all the famous explorers of the past have done" — What does it mean to be an explorer?
Recently (..almost) Finished
Show Your Work 📖
Finished 5 chapters in one reading. Exactly what Ali Abdaal’s recommended: a pocket reminder for any creators.
A couple of things 💬
“When you find things you genuinely enjoy, don’t let anyone else make you feel bad about it”
“Don’t think of your website as a self-promotion machine, think of it as a self-invention machine. Online, you can become the person you really want to be.”
Elsewhere
A #farinsighter suggested focusing on 5 goals, and ignoring the rest, from the comments in IG on last week’s letter.
This person suggests 4 at a time, on the other hand 💬
Keeping in touch with the ‘big why’ is one way to anchor you to your resolutions so you’re right on track
If you’re not on Instagram, The Far Insights is on Facebook too! I’m not huge on FB (at the moment, the contents are the same thing as Instagram) but yeah if you’re a heavy FB user, why not 👇🏼
From Kitty City
‘twas a hectic week. My sleeping schedule is kinda ruined. But hey, last Saturday was my first time going inside the📍State Legislative Assembly building in Kuching!
Let me know your thoughts!
…on what do you think of this week’s letter (or just about anything) by replying to this mail, tweet me or DM me at @farihahfuaad. Your responses help me improve greatly. 💜