Perfectionism, Time & Suddenly Becoming An Entrepreneur [A Muslim's Perspective]

& Meeting With MYSELF now.. + how have u been?

I know I said final one many moons ago but maybe I need to come back here every now and then…

As the biggest personal development junkie [I believe solo travel, business, writing, contemplating, are all different facets of personal development], I have also faltered.

This time, I faltered, extensively. I am human. I am prone to making mistakes.

Some lessons I’ve learned….

The Slow Burn & Eventual Crash of Perfectionism

I think this had something to do with the way I was brought up. The pressure to get Straight As, be the best, settle for nothing less.

This led to all-or-nothing thinking, which took A LOT for me to overcome, over and over again.

This tendency that I had and the weight that I carry extend to all facets of my life. Eventually, I can see the flaws in perfectionism, and when I see the flaws, I am utterly SHOCKED.

The more you chase it, the deeper you fall and when it cracks, the damage is so huge. That you end up with ZERO. That is the worst feeling ever.

Back then, I used to monitor what biz buzzword would say ‘competitors’ and wondered, “Why aren’t they perfect?”

I used to wonder about my former superiors, how they would just say proceed with B+ when I knew it could be brushed up to an A.

I also used to wonder about why people who have failed many times in their earlier part of life can immediately make it after that. Until I figured that it’s actually simple. They have no ego. There was no ego getting in the way of them doing anything. They’re simply fearless. They are ready to fail.

My biggest ego was perfectionism. I had straight As, I need the SEOs to be green, and I want the branding to be on point because I am certified in Public Relations. I need that course only then I can proceed. Wanting everything to be perfect that I felt exhausted.

Until now I realized, that perfectionism is a mirage. I have been to and seen the perfect destinations/cities of the world. It is so perfect that when you go there, you wonder, where are its faults. My favorite destinations as I grow older are the imperfect ones, so much color & flavor!

Back then I would prepare a deck for a pitch and now I realize, that is such an unnecessary use of time and energy that would bring only heartache to you.

These days I do funnel thinking. If you give step 5 to those asking for step 1, you’re repelling them, and you’re exhausted, bitter, and resentful for pouring energy that should be saved for what needs your step 5. Give step 1 to those asking for step 1. Less energy to be perfect, fewer expectations, and less heartache.

Also, being an entrepreneur was the LAST thing that I wanted. I didn’t even want to be one but Allah took me to this path.. after I had exhausted all my options. Let me tell you what I wanted: I wanted to be a writer, a corp comm, a PR, content creator, blogger, digital nomad, you get the idea.

But Allah SWT took me to this path… and I kinda love-and-hate it.

Maybe that’s real love and commitment. When you have two sides of the coin. All the flavors - umami, sweet, sour, bitter and salty. If you only love it, or only hate it, something’s wrong because if it’s too perfect, someday it will blow up and you’ll be so shocked it HURTS. Like Singapore Airlines recent tragedy.

The role of an entrepreneur is literally putting out fires, every single day, and waking up to a new exploration. I know I love exploring. Today I can do codings and tomorrow I’m going to vet all the articles, and the day after I’m going to daydream about what should we do next.. You don’t know what fire or what path is coming tomorrow, and it’s never going to be perfect, no matter how much you try to!

I guess, being one is Allah’s way of humbling me to become OKAY as an imperfect being. Again, easier said than done.

Managing Time or Making The Best Use of Time?

Time. When the pandemic happened I had the biggest regret about how I used up time in the past.

Again I did it this time. I semi-regret the time I had for the past one year or so. But then Islam is a way of life that reminds us to be thankful for all that has happened and move on. So, alhamdullilah.

There are three important lessons I’ve learned about time.

(1) Time is ruthless if you are ignorant of it. It won’t come back and it doesn’t give sympathy if you missed out.

(2) When I realized I wanted to be perfect in managing my time with todoist notion google calendar etc telling me what to do, I kept losing time or worse, lose everything.

But when I make peace with “this is the best that I can do today” and have 3-2-1 eat the frog way of thinking, I made better use of time. I get smaller increments of my time ROI. I think that’s a much more realistic way to approach time.

Time is never the same on any two days in the life of an entrepreneur. So I can’t have a set of rigid schedule telling me what to do exactly at this time of the day. I’ve seen how project managers do it. Y’all… crazy. Salute.

(3) And time, ultimately lies to Allah’s will. Whatever that I concocted in calendar…. I should be here in so and so month, can change immediately. Because at the end of the day, it is Allah’s will.

Because of my large risk appetite, the downside is that I overestimate my capabilities many times. So I have to learn to make peace, remove my ego, and that “it’s not meant to be in so and so month or day” when the writing’s on the wall.

Porting Over Western Formula of Successful Business to the Islamic counterpart of it.

This has got to be the biggest slap in my face. It brushed over the naïveté I had for business but again, it’s better to get the slap now rather than later.

At least I now can see the good, and the bad and learn to accept both in business and life. I wasn’t good at acceptance.

I think everybody should be given the chance to see both sides to everything/everyone in life before deciding to commit. Probation let’s say.

In business, they always say three years, on average is the make-it-or-break-it moment IF YOU ARE STARTING FROM SCRATCH (unless you’re Elon Musk & have a mission to go to space, that would take longer for sure). It’s true. That’s the year, for many, that determines you’re in, or you’re out.

The first two years are just spent on testing the waters, going wide and failing fast, finding your place in the market, discovering if the biz is suitable or should you pivot, yada yada yada.

So, on average, if it’s has only just been six months or two years for you, honey, you’ve got mountains to climb ahead. Buckle up.

Disclaimer: doesn’t apply to commission / brokerage / franchising / similar in nature biz or to those who have had an entrepreneurial headstart in mindset & environment.

It’s been my third year. And guess what? I have been bitten by the entrepreneurship bug, and declared my commitment to it despite the many business scars.

Now back to the thing about porting successful biz models to yours:

• It works… and

• it doesn’t work

But we all have to start from copying someone, right? Then reiterate! The Four Quadrants of Knowledge always say that magic comes from the unknowables.

The faster you get past this, the more you make peace with yourself because then you realize, you’re not competing with anyone else, but YOURSELF yesterday, and the biz/personal development journey you’re in yesterday. That’s it.

The Islamic faith-based biz vertical has its own nuance that I am (and many of us) are still trying to solve. Like I said, my role is putting out fires and exploring a new solution, every day. When I get there, you’ll get second dibs, after the community in MST.

Again, I am glad I tried. Because now I can lick my wounds (gosh took me maybe half a year), stop wondering, quickly pick myself up and do it, our way moving forward.

Perhaps eventually, the big takeaway here is that I had to do everything, fail at it, find my place in it, to make peace with myself (via perfectionism, time, trade, etc).

Peace is expensive. It can’t be bought with money. Only with experience, blood, sweat, and tears. That is the journey I am (and I believe you too are) on.

That’s it! See you on the other side..

Usually, I would have some sort of mega announcement at the end (perfectionist much & my brain is literally picking a fight with me now to save this until so and so is ready). But I don’t have one now.

So if you appreciate this or learned something here that you’re dealing with in life, I’d appreciate it if you head over to muslimsolotravel.com or share the website with your loved ones for continued travel inspos over there. Best x