Allow Yourself To Make Mistakes
The untold blessings of mistakes, and its domino effect on humility, relationships and focus.
Three things that have been on my mind lately...
Mistakes, humility, and focus. They all have something in common with one another. They make us human.
Embrace your mistakes and learn from it
Do you do this? 👆🏻
If so, you might be a perfectionist. Beating yourself up for mistakes is one of the pitfalls of being a perfectionist.
The perfectionist’s biggest nightmares are (1) the fear of making mistakes and (2) the fear of failure.
“Mistakes seem like the end of the world.”
If you see mistakes in this light, I feel you, because this was the way I approached things for many, many years.
💜 In case you needed to hear this: it’s okay to make mistakes.
Two types of mistakes
I'd like to think of mistakes being divided into two categories:
Unforgivable mistakes
Unforgivable mistakes, for a writer, are typo errors. Especially someone’s name spelling. These are grave mistakes that can cost one’s reputation.
⚠️ So, ignore this type of mistake as you scroll downwards because we will be talking about the below;
Unintended mistakes
The ones you make usually when you are fresh right at the beginning of your journey, or in some vague liminal1 space.
💬 Of course, you would make mistakes because you do have not enough know-how or a manual book!
Why should you embrace (unintended) mistakes?
Recently, I made a mistake that involved losing something precious to me— my hard-earned money. Only through losing that, I’ve learned that..
“Mistakes let us know we have strayed from what we want to be, do, or have”
That mistake reinforced the border that further limits me from going too, too far away from what I was supposed to do.
💬 Instead of disregarding the mistake, take a hard look at the mistake, and know what is it trying to teach you.
Mistakes or are they coincidences are also there to...
Reroute you to where you’re supposed to go
HINDZ once said that attention is our highest form of currency. Our phones, social media, the shopping mall, everyone is fighting for our most expensive currency — our attention.
When they got our attention, they’ll be able to persuade us.
Sometimes we make mistakes by giving away too much of our sacred attention elsewhere. Only when we realized we’ve lost our precious asset, we are forced to reconcile on chanelling our focus onto the right path.
Mistakes push us to the limits, help us learn to self-correct to the “right”. It tells us what we can, and cannot do.
Look at mistakes as untold blessings that chart us back to where the Universe intends us to go.
🧠 The bigger picture: The first mistake—despite how much they hurt us—can prevent us from inflicting further harm if we decided to stubbornly brush off Plan A and decided to move ahead with Plan D.
Making mistakes humbles you
Common sense. Humility is the absence of pride, and having no pride keeps you grounded.
I never truly get why being humble is a respectable quality one should possess, until I stumbled upon someone so arrogant.
What’s the point of humility?
Having humility means that you know that you're not perfect, and superior to others.
Question 💬: How many of us steer away from people who are arrogant, selfish, and people who think they are better than others?
A reversal 🔁
When you favor only the strong and ignore other peoples’ ideas because of your arrogance, you may get costly mistakes.
Humility makes one feel good, in a good-not-arrogant-way.
It's like the times where you would give up your seats in public transportation for the needy, old grandfather or that pregnant lady.
And the times you have a brief conversation with a mere passerby that you know is not “in your social class”.
These short, weak-tie (humble) exchanges make you feel good.
Bottomline, the positive effects of humility are boundless. Not only does it improve our social standing with others, but you too get to see through various life perspectives, attain stronger relationships, and grow significantly.
💬 Sometimes, only through making mistakes, you’re humbled to see the essentials, and truly focus on them.
Current Obsessions
SKZ's MAMA moments — Felix and Hyunjin (paboracha) went back to God's Menu era? 🤯
Faizal Westcott's Back to Street Photography video
Serious things
Keep your receipts 🔖
I don't mean literal, purchase receipts.. But, receipts of your conversations. A lot of manipulation can take place when you do not have black-and-white.
That deal you had over the phone? Legitimize it via email, or paper.
💬 On not taking things personally, sometimes it’s just not the right fit.
"Sales is a relationship. It’s an exchange between a buyer and a seller. And as with any relationship, both parties have to agree to the terms. That means buyers are free to turn down any products or services that aren’t right for them. It also means that sellers can say NO to clients who aren’t the right fit." — Michelle Weinstein
Recently finished
HINDZ's story on how he avoided being his true self.
I got 8/15 out of this Roys’ game! Try it if you’re an avid fan of Succession.
Elsewhere
Just like that, we are halfway through December already! Have you made any goals? If you need a little help, avoiding these goal-setting mistakes could be a start.
Sarikei was fantastic!
Distilling from last week’s letter on road trips, I feel this 👇🏼 There will always be diversions, or “mistakes”. Some of them, may not be mistakes at all.
From Kuala Locco
Greetings from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia!
After 2 years and a half, I am back. This time, KL welcomed me with a different kind of air. I don’t know what it is, but I’m not interested in shopping malls as much as I used to. 🌚
Perhaps, it’s because of the isolation era the pandemic has suggested? I miss the jungle now.
Another epiphany upon my 24 hours touch down in Kuala Lumpur, it is that life back at home in Kuching is easy. 💬 Being away from something helps us appreciate more.
Let me know your thoughts!
…on what do you think of this week’s letter (or just about anything) by replying to this mail, tweet me or DM me at @farihahfuaad. Your responses help me improve greatly. 💜
A space between one destination and the next